July 22nd, 2014 // 0 notes
Black and white make grey, that was the color of the sky today.
July 22nd, 2014 // 0 notes
July 19th, 2014 // 1 note

And when I lie in bed
I still face
where you use to lie
and I feel like my entire world is missing
and I’m falling
in to a the depths of nothingness
as I stoke your face that is no longer there.

And when I drive your car
I can’t stop the tears
fogging my vision
as I hear you sing old rock songs
to me
on that rainy day
driving nowhere.

And I still wear that watch
that you gave my on our last valentines day
that’s forever telling me it’s 7.14
and 23 seconds
the exact time
I threw it to the ground,
19 weeks ago,
when you told me
that it was terminal,
that you weren’t going to make it.

And when I take a shower
all I see is you
when you could no longer
hold yourself
and I had to wash you
as I held back sobs
because I knew I was losing you.
You were losing you.

And when I look into our son’s eyes
I try not to break
because the
blinding blue always
screams you,
and sometimes I forget
you aren’t coming back.

And I still can’t
bring myself
to give up anything
that reminds me of you.
Not even the
shoes you
walked the god damn
life out of
that I begged you
to throw away
everyday.

And it’s not fair
that I only got 9 years
of your life
and more so,
that you only got
29 
of all your life.

And I hate that
I thought we were forever
when we said
‘I do.’
and I guess it was,
for you…

And this is
far worse than
any breakup could ever be
because you didn’t want to leave
and you never stopped loving
what you left behind.

And when I get angry
it can’t be at you
and it is so much harder
being angry at nothing
than it would be
if I could just get angry at you.

And you’ve been gone
2 months now
and I’m still waiting
for you
to wrap your arms
around me
and make me feel
whole again
like you always do.

The worst kind of break up - R T S (via words-will-heal-me)

(via beneath-a-lonely-place)

July 18th, 2014 // 87 notes
brilliant
just like my soul
July 16th, 2014 // 0 notes